It was Nietzsche who said: There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or skipping stones – it depends on how we view them and use them .
My friend , Rabbi Ralph Genende shares 4 profound and powerful lessons about living, love and leadership and the 4 A’s that help us navigate our way on the rocky road through the wilderness of life.
Attitude
Attitude shapes your reality.
Life is constantly throwing up obstacles in our way - it’s how we deal with them that helps us grow from a pebble to a boulder!
- How do you change a negative emotion or feeling to a positive one ?
- How do you turn lemon into lemonade ?
- How do you look at a situation with the glass half full lense?
Everyone gets negative thoughts
- the learned helplessness,
- the sense that I’m a failure or not good enough
- that things will never change,
- the over emphasis on the negatives,
- the tendency to blame others for our predicament,
- the catastrophising or expecting the worst no matter what.
Even the best of us - lose our cool and calm head and positivity
Moses lost it
Even Moses succumbed to the negative in the situation, worn out by 40 years of wandering around in the desert, his peers dying around him including the recent loss of his beloved sister.
In his grief, he lost his cool and calm head and his energetic and upbeat approach.
He forgot that it’s his attitude and not his aptitude that determines his altitude.
Viktor Frankl - survived
In his famous book mans search for meaning - that Tony Robbins quotes - he survives the concentration camps by having a life affirming attitude. Living for something bigger than himself .
He would quote Nietzsche that he who has a why to live, can live with almost any how.
Soviet dissident Natan Sharansky
He sustained himself in prison particularly by the verse from Psalm 23: “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you with me.”
With cool heads, warm hearts and the spirit of our tradition we will find a way to help ourselves and our wounded world through these times.
We need to have an attitude of hope and faith even as we faced fear and loss, trials and tribulations.
Anger
Anger is a natural feeling and alerts us to things that aren’t just right.
Repressed anger doesn’t disappear, it just goes underground - it festers, feeds on itself and when ignited becomes like a wild and dangerous bush fire.
Anger needs to be acknowledged , processed and express in a measured, appropriate and considered way.
This is the difference between uncontrollable, violent rage and acceptable and necessary anger.
Anger for me has been very hard to control ….
Moses became angry - and was punished
It was more than just a failure of nerve for the embattled leader - it was also a loss of equilibrium.
A loss of his cool and calm head in a moment of blazing anger.
He lashed out at the people angrily calling them rebels, but in his rage he also hits the rock instead of speaking to it and strikes it not once, but twice…
Sometimes we do need to respond immediately with anger, for example to gross injustice, abuse, unacceptable behaviour, unfairness or ugliness.
But it’s an anger we are fully aware of and also in control of.
Fury is a destructive force, it can destroy and undermine both the perpetrator and the victim. It can undermine the best of leaders, the wisest of heads, the kindest of souls.
The Torah’s suggests “ When you are angry you should attempt to speak, not hit or burst out in rage, but beware of those extreme and unwise comments. “
Ghandi says that “if you are wrong - you have no right to be angry
And if you are right - you have no need to be angry “
Agility
Slaves understand that with a command comes a brutal stick.
Free men and women don’t respond to force and coercion but to words and persuasion.
Moses who led a slave generation for 40 years was not the man to lead free people across Jordan.
To stay relevant you need to have the capacity to adapt and change in the face of change.
The right response in one age or situation may be wrong in the next.
We need to be flexible, creative and adaptive. It’s the agile that survive !!
What is the core mission , what are the core rocks or values that you stand for? Should these change?
How can we contribute to the conversation of humanity, sharing ideas and things with others, letting others share this with us.
It’s all about attitude, agility and anger management, but there’s also one more A -
Appreciation
Be grateful - thank before you think - such a powerful tool !!!
A challenge - so beautifully expressed in Naomi Shemer’s song on the honey and the sting, the bitter and the sweet - like a tomn yum soup !
A stumbling block is also sometimes a stepping stone…. Be grateful for the challenges - you grow through adversity
Gratitude is about appreciating the positive things that are right here right now in our lives.
That’s why we savour the sweetness of honey and apples at our family tables,
That’s why we say the prayer Modeh Ani every morning - as Robbi Sacks said. -thank before you think .
That’s why we say a special blessing שהחיינו on Rosh Hashanah. Thank you God for this superb day and occasion you have given us,
That we are here together as a community,
That we have lived through and survived these last few horrendous years.
“Baruch Atah Hashem Elokeinu Melech HaOlam Sheh- hecheyanu Ve kiyemanu Ve hegeyanu Lazman Hazeh!!
We bless You God who has sustained us, nurtured us, and brought us to this marvellous time!!
Gemar Chatimah Tovah”
Rabbi Ralph
